Federal regulations require that alcohol levels be printed on wine labels, and so they are — often in ridiculously small type. Nonetheless, there is a lot of leeway allowed, and the printed numbers may err significantly and still fall within the letter of the law. But fudge factor aside, alcohol levels in varietal wines have been pushed higher and higher for decades, until consumers have finally begun to say, "Enough!"

So, what's too high? And what's wrong with high-alcohol wines anyway?

When a wine finishes with a burning sensation — that's too high. When the alcohol level is such that it must be masked by winemaking tricks such as massive amounts of new oak, or unwanted residual sugar — that's too high. When a wine loses all traces of varietal character or the more subtle elements that contribute to its aroma, complexity, texture and balance — that's too high.

Worst of all, when a wine reaches such ridiculous levels of alcohol that one glass makes you punch drunk — dry zinfandels pinning the meter at over 17 percent — that's waaay too high.

The marketing "spin" on why such wines are really OK usually involves the argument that they may be high in alcohol, but they are still balanced. This I call the bear-riding-a-unicycle-on-a-high-wire argument. Yup, he's up there, and I guess he's balanced ... but for how long?

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